Take Control of Your Life



Have you ever heard someone say you are responsible for your own actions? Most of us know of someone who continues to blame everyone and the world for their problems. One of my closest friends has chosen to stay away from those type of people including friends he has had for years.

You feel bad because you choose to. If want to learn how to change your attitude, start by changing your thoughts. When things seem to be going bad think about what you do want.

Ever notice that when you are feeling bad people don't want to be around you? I've often been curious why people just didn't want to associate with me when I was feeling sad or upset. Not too long ago a friend of mine explained to me that people do pick up on your vibrations. I used to think that people mentioning one having vibes was just a saying. It's not.

People who are happy attract the like. Wouldn't you want to be around happy, cheerful, and outgoing people?

We can make the best of situations like it or not. As hard as it can be we have to look at the good in everything around us.

Recently, I had three things occur in my life that could have potentially left me miserable and feeling sorry for myself.  I first fell terribly ill with a urinary infection that went up into my kidney leaving me with achy joints and fevers going as high as 103.6.  My step grandmother had a stroke that left her incapacitated which she did not want to live like that. My grandfather had the doctor stop kidney dialysis. A week later while myself, my aunt, grandfather and the pastor were beside her bed, she passed away.  In between it all, my landlord showed up asking if I had found any help with my rent (which I was only a month behind on at the time). Since I hadn't, he gave me 12 days to move-along with my three children.

At that time I could have just lost it boohooing, freaking out, panicking,etc. I didn't though. What good would it have done for me to be upset or be worried about something like this? Nothing. It wouldn't have gotten me anywhere at all.  The best thing I could do for myself and my children is to keep going. Focus on the good as well as what I can do Now.

Issues with relationships can be some of the most difficult issues to deal with. I've been in a relationship for a little over a year now with things coming to a fork in the road.  There are days I have felt sad because things haven't gone the way I wanted them to, yet I know better. So I have had to go back to forcing myself to think about what I DO want in my life. Like many other people I do fluctuate back and forth. Eventually though, I hope to think more good thoughts no matter what the situation.

Other people and things cannot make us happy or sustain our happiness. We have to choose to be happy or be sad.

 I am sure that the majority of us wants to be happy.  

We focus on the bad or being angry it is only going to keep us miserable. When people feel sorry for themselves as if no ones cares or loves them those feelings continue to fester.  Dwelling on the negative pessimistic things in life only keep you in that same train of thought.

Choose to change things to happy, optimistic thoughts makes a difference. It doesn't happen instantly or overnight, but catching yourself then changing things makes a difference.

Several years ago I was married with two children. I was unhappy but I didn't know how to break away. I had a lot of anger and sadness. I was verbally, mentally, emotionally abused besides living with an alcoholic and a person addicted to drugs. Back then I was a stay at home mom living in a nice house with a husband who had a great job he had been at for many years. Then it all came crumbling down. He lost his job and I took on two jobs for what I thought would be a temporary thing. Instead, he had difficulties holding down a job because of his newly diagnosed Bi Polar disorder. He threatened my life and I had enough.

Rather than feel sorry for myself I made some tough changes. I got help with moving out with my two children. It was the most difficult thing I did but it was worth it. As the weeks passed while I continuted to work and carry on life as normal, I began to feel better.

I felt like a ton of bricks had been released off of my back.

I admit, my kids have been my main reason to keep going.

I returned to college, lived and moved out of public housing as well as allowing my adventurous side to come out. My confidence has been growing because I have allowed it to. I have wanted to enjoy life which is what I am doing now. I have chosen to live an outgoing, fullfilling life instead of seeing myself as a victim of my own choices.

Besides changing our attitude we can also change our health. Being sad, worried, and angry all of the time affects our health. If you notice people who are happy are healthy. Look at George Burns. He lived to be 100 years old. He had obviously lived a happy,healthy life.

Focus on the good even when things are dismal around you. Keep working on it until you can find something good to think about.

Take Control of Your Life!