"Single mom with little support"
May 16, 2008 by Jennifer BryanBeing a single mom isn't an easy job. Unless you have a support system life is going to be a great big challenge.
By choice I have been a single mom to my three children now for three years. My only daughter, Shiloh who is my oldest is 10 years old, Caleb is 5 1/2 and Hunter who is 2 1/2 are much of my life.
I have also been attending college since 2006 mostly taking classes online.
The most frustrating part of being a single mom is finding support. My first semester in college was a challenge. Had it not been for a very good neighbor of mine and my mom I would not have made the honor roll!
What do you do when you do not have dependable childcare? Most of us know that top quality childcare is expensive.
When I first became a single mom I was receiving a fair amount of child support for my three children. So according the guidelines through DHS approximately $200 was going to go directly to the state just to be in the program where I could recieve childcare at a very reduced rate. However, I also was required to work even though I was going to college full time!
Many times I had to turn down job opportunities, simple college get togethers, church functions and parties.
I admit, it really hurt. I wanted so badly to mingle with other adults sometimes. I mean I was around children majority of the time unless I was at school.
My son Caleb began displaying behavior problems about this time. People around me constantly suggested I find a male mentor or father figure for him. One of the places I went was my church, but all I got was turned off ears.
I looked into getting Caleb into sports but at the time my youngest was just an infant. I went ahead and put him in T-ball which was great for him.
Practices and games though were a big challenge for me. I depended a lot on my daughter to help me by watching her baby brother while I stood out on the ball field supporting Caleb.
Sometimes another mom would bring her teen daughters who greatfully would pitch in and help out.
Caleb still had issues though that as a mom, I just couldn't work through.
I stayed frustrated while attempting to find a resolution to this situation.
A year later my life coach and now best friend Mike has stepped up to the plate.
Mike has become that male mentor for all three of my children. They are attatched to him as well as his wife (also my best friend).
All Caleb has needed was some male guidance and stability in his life.
Yes, he and Shiloh's father is in their life, he just does not interact with them.
Gradually Caleb's behavior has improved though he still has a long way to go.
One of the greatest gifts from Caleb was given to me a few days before Mother's Day (also my birthday) 2008. As Caleb was getting out of our Jeep at school he turned around and said Mommy I Love You. That was the first time I had heard him say that to me.
It let me know that everything I was doing was the best to my ability.
Jennifer Bryan May 16, 2008
If you find this site helpful, please leave a donation so you can enjoy the spirit of giving too.
